The left-hand path is not easy. I think I have repeated this phrase, both internally and out loud, many times. I’m here to say it again. IT’S NOT EASY. This month has been very challenging for me. After returning from my trip to Portland last month, I have gone through a spiritual hiatus. The energy to read and apply is just not there. My body and mind have a hard time focusing during meditation and ritual work. I feel like I’m all over the place; multitasking and balancing life. Some articles on the web even hint that multitasking is impossible, that our brain can only focus on one thing at a time. I’m living proof that this is not true. Even now as I type this post, I’m thinking about my ascension, organizing my thoughts for action later on, and thinking about how I’m going to watch the World Cup next month without interruptions.
I put tremendous pressure on myself to get things done right. As a result, I sometimes have a mental breakdown that remains internal. Seldom do people notice this side me, but it is there. Behind that smile, there is a vortex of questions, thoughts, and plans for the future. The month of May has put me to the test in this regard. I have begun planning my business, which takes hours upon hours of careful planning. I manage my “day to day” job well, but even then there is chaos when you least expect it. My spirituality workings have suffered because of this. Physically, this month has given me little time to do ritual/spell work and efficient meditation. Mentally though, I’m constantly reflecting and thinking about my ascension. I communicate with King Lucifer through my thoughts and do my best to manifest his presence through my dreams.
Last week as I was driving home from work, I decided to clear my mind from everything. I always drive with my windows down as I love feeling the wind flow through my hair. Yes, even in those disgusting, Florida 100+ degree days. Earlier that day, there were heavy rainstorms that are the norm during Springtime. By the time I was driving, everything had cleared and the sun began to peek out through the clouds. I had no music on and just wanted to have the natural, audible ambiance enter my mind. I encountered a red-light and just gazed into the sky. I thought to myself, “Wow, what a beautiful moment to take a nice picture.” I got my phone out, snapped a few pics, and continued my drive home.
Hours later, I was sitting in my recliner chair, exhausted, and just zoning out. I remembered the pictures I took earlier and got my phone out. I was deciding which picture to upload to my Instagram account when something caught my attention. Towards the top of the picture, there were two faces. These were no ordinary faces; they were manifestations of two Ancient Ones (demons). I have seen these faces in other pictures I have taken on my altar, but never did they appear out in the open. My first reaction was to negate what I was seeing, so I thought maybe I had moved my phone at the moment I took the picture. The more I looked at it, the more it called out to me. There was something definitely special about this picture.
The moment I saw these faces, I felt calmness and stability. I felt reassured that everything was going to be just right. There were moments this month that I felt spiritually alone. This happens to everyone, believe it or not. I feel that we go through this “alone” phase to learn and grow from life. In addition, our spiritual progression sometimes needs a break to focus and evolve. After reflecting on the image, I knew exactly what it meant: focus, do your best with what you have, don’t give up, we’re here for you. This message resonated deeply in my soul. The Ancient Ones provided this manifestation as a message of support. The whole symbolical representation of the sun, clouds, and sky enhanced the message as well.
April was a heavy month of spiritual workings for me, so it makes sense that May would be low-key. That’s easier to write than to accept, but that’s the beauty of being in this path. Expect the unexpected, and be alert to your surroundings. As I had mentioned in my previous post, the ritual that I participated in before the conference officially commenced was powerful. I connected with Azazel for the first time, and it was amazing. It was a long time since I had participated in a communal session with other left-hand path practitioners, so I think the energy exchanged really affected me. It has taken me almost a month to recover from it. I highly recommend you watch two of my videos on my other channel about this experience: Ritual Experience and Heading to Flambeau Noir.
This week, I got back into the swing of things. I was able to meditate more and reflect in front of my altar. All of my videos and photography from the trip are officially uploaded, giving me free time to do other things. I rewatched many of my favorite videos on YouTube, particularly by Black Witch Coven, Indigo Priestess, E.A. Koetting, and Damon Dark. I discovered new videos by The Thorn Rose Witch Kindra Ravenmoon and Priestess Auset Ra Amen. My mind cleared tremendously after this manifestation, and have now reorganized my goals for the near-future and beyond. I feel more relaxed and motivated to get back on track with my spiritual workings.
If you would like to read more about my whole trip to Portland, I wrote a piece detailing many little tidbits in my other blog, LOSMEDIASTUDIOS on Medium. I go more in-depth about what I experienced during “Flambeau Noir”, and as a heads up: it is something I never experienced before. I would love to hear your feedback! Click Here…